i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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