mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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