There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
