Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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