This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
