What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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