I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
