Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I will pee on everything he values.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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