Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
That was before I lit my hair on fire
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
