Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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