Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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