i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
