I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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