Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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