Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
