glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
