It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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