So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
