So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
