Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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