i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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