omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
