Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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