I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
