4 words: hood of his car
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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