Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We're too hungover to prance.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
