Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I look better un-naked...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
