I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
