I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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