Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
