bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
