Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
