im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
