Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
