OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
