I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
