____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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