He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
