Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
