SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
