I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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