your parents love me but you hate me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
