so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
