I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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