oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
