Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
