Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
This can only be settled by a dance off.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
