You're my little dorito
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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