I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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