Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
