That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
