your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
